GREGRIO Dec.4-8 Cowboys,Shows, and MOOSE TURD PIE

[GREGRIO]

...........i'll get to the pie at the end.
It was a good trip, just not very exciting. Hungry cab drivers,
construction at the IP and LVHilton were bothersome...
This one was short 'n sweet but more 'ho hum' than Christmas 'ho ho ho'.

My Sunday SOUTHWEST flight left right on time out of Oakland California...7:10AM, and I was at the GOLD COAST registration dest at
9...couldn't get into the RIO until Monday (RODEO)
I requested a 9th floor room, checked my bag w/ 'Bell' and walked around
the casino.
They always decorate the registration area for Christmas and Rodeo...more
Rodeo than Christmas. A large 'corral' set up next to the 'tree'
with Rodeo info, hats, vests, baseball caps, jackets, gloves, belts, boots...
...all displaying the gold and red 'GOLD COAST' logo. Seemed like every
well dressed Cowboy had to buy a black souvenir vest...they were everywhere...along with cases and caSES and CASES of every kind of BEER
on the market. Stacked in every vacant space around the bars, piled 5 feet
high on hand trucks...Bud, Bud Lite, Miller Genuine Draft, COORS...longneck
bottles and cans loaded one on top of another like haybales all through
the GOLD COAST's 'Pit' area..........navigating through was like being in a
Pole Bending or Barel racing competition just to get to the elevators.

Didn't play much at the GOLD COAST...the casino just doesn't do anything
for me...I'm more at home across the street at the PALMS and headed over
there for breakfast. Steak 'n Eggs at the newly re-modeled SUNRISE CAFE
always works good.
Played some 'Cleopatra' and 'WOF', then settled in for $Bonus Poker and
quarter Double Bonus. With my good 'Change' buddy Connie looking on, I had
lots of good play and laughs, but no Royals. I've known Connie from the first
day the PALMS opened and she's always on top of the better Pay Schedual
machines. New info to me...(and I've never noticed him), but Connie tells
me Bob Dancer has been an almost daily visitor lately...Dollar TriplePlay Duces.

Pulled my bag across Valley View Monday morning and in the West enterence
of the RIO. Another good friend, Patty, at the Platinum registration counter
was waitin' for me. We talk as my trips get close and she keeps her eye on
my favorite room. Saturday it was unoccupied when we last spoke, but late
that night (dispite the request in the computer) an unsympathetic or...not
too bright (...I like that) supervisor on the nightside gave it away.
It set worse with Patty than me and she said she'd find me a good compromise...AND DID!
She gave me one of the newly decorated Cariocas suites...very sweet, but
I still prefer my normal corner room on the 13th floor.

Not much to report on food...I pretty much eat on the run. Show times
conflict with dinner times but I did squeeze in my Steak, Lobster and Shrimp
up-top in RIO's VOODOO CAFE. I also tried (for the first time) the VENETIAN's
GRAND LUX CAFE after BLUE MAN GROUP's new Show. I always seem to be
in the mood for pasta after a Show, and their 'Rustic Lasangna' is WONDERFUL

I grew up with Rock 'n Roll and love all types of music. December...because of
the Grand Nationals is a great, once a year, opportunity to catch Country Music in Las Vegas. I saw LYNRD SKYNYRD, PHIL VASSAR, and LeANN RIMES
this trip...all at LVHilton, all great Shows! Too bad I can't say the same thing
for the casino. The re-modeling is going on EVERYWHERE! The main 'Pit' is
intact, but the slots and VP machines, from the front door to the Sports Book are upside down!
All new natural Maplewood finish machines to match the new carpet are still
piled up in groups waiting to be set up. I was there Sun. and Wed. and they
hadn't made any progress in getting the gaming up and running. I found an
old row of 8/5 Bonus Poker machines in the Sports Book to play which were
good fun until Showtime.
The escalators at the IMPERIAL PALACE are being replaced too so if you need
to get to the 2nd or 3d floors for Shows or Buffets, you need to use the
elevators...BIG DRAG!
I'll put some thoughts on the NEW BLUE MAN GROUP, AVE. Q's Showtime change and FAB FOUR in Shows/Entertainment.

now.......................................about MOOSE TURD PIE.

During Rodeo, Cowboy Hats, Giant Belt Buckels, and Cowboy Boots
are everywhere and so are the stories you over hear...
The GOLD COAST gave me 2 of their FUN BOOKS at check-in. The only
thing I like in 'em is the 2 FREE scoops of ice cream from their ICE CREAM PARLOR......COWBOYS seemed to LOVE ICE CREAM TOO and the Parlor was
like a meeting place for swoppin' stories of the day and was always full.
I found a vacant chair at a table with a couple of Cowboys...real friendly
guys, talkin' stories, where ya from, what ya do, etc.
Bill Morgan...the senior Cowboy of the two was talkin' about what he did before he started workin' Rodeo. How I remembered this I'll never know, but
he was such a wonderful charactor and his smokey old voice just stuck in
my memorybanks I guess. His story went something like this...

MOSE TURD PIE:
"Before I worked the Rodeo, I went down and got a job with the Rural
Electrofication Co. on the Navaho Indian reservation........runnin' electric power lines into the Navaho 'outhouses'. I was one of the first people to wire ahead for a reservation!
I'll tell ya about the worst job I ever had in my life. Worst job I ever had in
my life was workin' for the Santa Fe Railroad south of LAS VEGAS...out in the
desert.
Now the job was 'Gandy Dancin'. 'Gandy Dancin' used to be (in the old days)...........'Gandy Dancin' was when the Irish were buildin' the railroad.
The first transcontinental railroad was built by Irish laborers, and they used
these long handled shovels called 'Irish Banjos' that were made by the Gandy
Shovel Co. of Chicago.
Now the Irish laborer would take the wide end of the shovel (when he could
find it).......and he would jam it in under the rail or a tie........crawl out on the end and do a little 'jig-step', and this would level the rail or tie up so they
could shovel gravel in underneath it, tamp it down, and this would level the
roadbed see........that's what 'Gandy Dancin' is, levelin' the roadbed so the damn train don't fall off when it goes by which is just a big drag for everybody.

Now they don't do 'Gandy Dancin' the normal way any more.
Now days, they run 3 cars out on the line.
They run a boxcar out there that's a 'Bunk Car'...you sleep in it. They got beds and they're 18" apart.
Then you got a 'Tool Car' with your camping irons, your tongs, and your
double jack hammers, spikes and all that sort of equipment ya see...AND then
you got the 'Cook Car'. See, theres no restaurnants anywhere around, so you
gotta do your own cookin'.
It's got pots, pans, coal or wood burning stove...long table down the middle
that you eat at...Only thing they don't hire is a cook...........that's cuz they're
cheap...saves 'em money.
Rule is...they're supose to pick from their own crew who's going to cook.
..............and they don't decide to do it sensibly like draw lots or see who
the best cook is...What they do is wait and see who whines and cries, pisses and moans the most about the cookin', and they say........
"all right wise guy, you think you can do better, you get to be the cook".
............................well that was me see. 'Ol alligator mouth. New man on
the crew. And that was the worst food I ever had! I mean it was dogbottom
pie, pheasant sweat, foder water......comes out of an utter (terrible stuff)
So I complained! and they said..."OK wise guy, you get to be the cook".
THAT MADE ME MAD, cuz I didn't want to cook, but I know if ANYBODY COMPLAINED ABOUT MY COOKIN'...that they were gonna have to cook.

ARMED WITH THAT KNOWLAGE...I sallyed forth...over the muddy river.
I was walkin' around among the cheat grass there...I looked down, and
there was just a hell of a BIG MOOSE TURD. Biggest damn Moose turd I........
...it was a real steamer!
I looked down at the 'meadow waffer' and I said to myself....I said, SELF, I'm
gonna bake up a big Moose Turd Pie. Cuz if anybody complains about my cookin', they're gonna have to cook.

So I tipped that 'Pasture Pastry' up on edge (I got my shit together so to speak)........and I started rollin' it down toward the old Cook Car.
...baroomp-baroomp, rolled it down there and leaned it up against the side.
I climbed up into the Cook Car and I baked up one hell of a big pie shell and
I baked that Moose turd in just as slick as you please.
I crimped the edges with my thumbs and laid strips of dough across it, garnished it with a sprig of Parsley, alittle Paprika......it was BEAUTIFUL...
POETRY ON A PLATE...and I served it for desert, just waitin' for the first hint of a complaint.

Well this giant dude came in.....5 foot 40.....I mean he was BIG!
Throwed himself down like a fool on a stool...picked up his fork...took a
big bite...
Well he through down his fork. And he let out a bellow, and he yelled.....
MY GOD!!!
THAT'S MOOSE TURD PIE!!!........................................it's good though.

Greg...nice trip report. Sounds like you are so relaxed and getting the most out of every trip. It must be fun to hear some of the stories around you with the cowboys in town. The Moose Turd Pie story was so funny.

All the construction does at times become very tiresome (pain in the ass). Odd thing is I thought it was really bad planning to have all those machines out of commission when the Rodeo is there with the country shows...???

Nice trip Greg, thanks for sharing.

[Grant]

Greg,

Great report, thanks for sharing!

Loved the story, glad you added all the slang too it.

Blue,

The construction is annoying but I bet they factor in that this might be slower time of year (even with the cowboys).

Greg,

Are you talking about the inside escalator or outside one? Just a heads up to other readers there is an outdoor escalator at the IP which will take you upstairs to Sportsbook, from there you can access buffet, poker room, show room, etc..

[GREGRIO]

I'm not too familiar with that area Grant...inside escalator is
the one that was torn up...going to 2nd and 3d floors.

[Grant]

Ok, I know which one you are talking about. Yeah, the outside one is right on the street next to bar with the huge slushy drinks. That will take you upstairs. It is kinda hidden, so I am giving everyone a heads up!

[ladydancer]

I love to go to Vegas during the Rodeos. Funny how everyone notices different things. I noticed how all the cowboys wear "Wrangler" jeans. ha

Good Read! Enjoyed the story very much.