The 'HELPING HAND' Grant TRIP REPORT

[GREGRIO]

Not knowing when we'll ever see a TR from Grant,
I thought I might start one for him.
Knowing our fearless slacker the way we do, you should
be able to use your imagination and pick up in mid stream
where I leave off..........

Hey there all, Grant here,
LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS, Thursday April 6th...I'm leaving the
Sahara in search of more roulette...

There's people all over the place here from some convention that
must be in town...single women everywhere...I think I'll ask some
where I can find a good poker game and

Some really cute chicks said that the best place to play Poker was at the El Cortez....so after a few drinks we cabbed to the El.

Had to wait for about an hour, so we sat down at the roulette table. Was hitting some good numbers and the waitress was very attentive with the drinks. I think I won some at roulette....?????

I don't remember playing Poker, but the girls said I was very good...ummmm. All I remember is that I've never been in North Las Vegas, nor have I heard of a casino called Jerry's Nugget. That is untill I woke up in a booth in the coffee shop.

Had to rush getting back to the Convention Center before_________

[GREGRIO]

...realized I couldn't find my Lap Top! DAMN! WHAT WILL THE
BOARD THINK OF ME NOW!

Suddenly 'Marge', a waitress in the Cafe Shop came strolling up
with a steaming hot cup of coffee...
"are we awake now honey" she said...it was hard to understand her
in and around her 'gum' chewing. "Got your Lap Top...though I'd better
keep my eye on it until you woke up...lots of 'desperate people' around
here ya know. Spend the nestegg on gambling, boozin' it up all night,
loose women.......you've got to be more careful honey!"

I looked at my watch...it was late...did I have a presentation at the
Convention?...couldn't remember...where was I...could barely remember,
OH YEAH...I'M IN LAS VEGAS! AND I'VE GOT TO

GET BACK TO THE CONVENTION CENTER!

Marge (waving hand) I was kind of out of it when I got here. Could you tell me just how far I am from the Convention Center?

Marge looked at me as if I was two years old, and that is probably streching it. She said, "I don't know how you got here, but you didn't walk that far". If you don't have a car, I think you need a cab.

I thanked her, the best I could since I needed money for the cab. I caught a cab and 45 mins later I'm at the Center.

A quick stop in the mens room (best I can do on short notice) and I get on the floor.

Then I find out..........

[GREGRIO]

...they screwed up the schedualing on our booth. We were blocked
in for the morning slot and the Fairfield TimeShare hackers had it in
the afternoon, but when I got to our space, they were already set up
with no Convention Center managers around to help! I called my boss,
he called someone else, and then called me back to say the day was
canceled and they'd given us the whole next day for free to make up
for the mistake...I HAD THE WHOLE DAY AND NIGHT IN VEGAS TO
MYSELF!
What to do...and where to do it !!!??? $10. BlackJack at the LUXOR or
Barbary Coast for the best Pai Gow in town...hmmmmmmmmmm

I took the Monorail to the Flamingo which is right next door to the
Barbry Coast...PAI GOW IT IS!.....AND, some serious double fisted
drinking.

As you walk in the front doors at Barbary Coast, the first thing you see
is one of those new GIANT Wheel Of Fortune Machines...the type you all
sit around...must seat 10 players at least and I've always wanted to try
it. Well I can't decide...Pai Gow-Wheel...Pai Gow-Wheel...

Then, guess who walks up?...Pete Vallee! BIG ELVIS HIMSELF! and
he wants to see my I.D...................(I knew I should have gone over
to the Trop first and tried the FREE SPIN for that car again.)

Anyhoo (as misterKeno would say)...I made like Rusty Griswold and
looked BIG ELVIS right in the eye and said

I REPLIED, "DON'T STEP ON MY BLUE SUEDE SHOES, OR YOU WILL EXPERIENCE THE JAIL HOUSE ROCK!". While Big Elvis was laughing his a** off, GRANT HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!!!

So off to the Luxor for some Poker..... I have to wait some time for a seat so I check out the roulette table. My numbers were hitting enough to keep me even. So when I got a seat in the poker room, I was feeling pretty good and thought, Yeah! this will be my day.

First couple of hands were uneventful. Then I thought boy that guy looks familiar....ummmm.....OMG!
That's _______

[GREGRIO]

CARROT TOP!...I'm totally blown away...I didn't even recognize him!
...with that stocking cap covering his red hair and those sunglasses WOW!
I can't play anymore, I'm just too distracted now.....

HIS SHOW IS HERE AT LUXOR, I wonder if I could score a ti...before
I could finish my thought, Scott.....CARROT TOP's real name is
Scott Thompson..Scott stood up, tipped the dealer and turned to go.

...never being the bashful type (or proud), I purposefully spilled my
Red Bull and Vodca on CORROT TOPS shoe...jusy my subtle way of
an introduction ya know...
"OH DAMN! I'm soooo sorry man!", I said "here, let me help you"
A Cocktail Waitress, noticing the whole event, rushed up and

started giving me napkins...of course I groveled at his feet wiping his shoes and kept telling him about how sorry I was.

He was very cordial and said, "No problem, crap happens."

I said, " You really look a lot like Carrot Top, has anyone told you that before?" "I really like him and would love to see his show while I'm here."
"Are you from Vegas?" "Everyone I meet is from somewhere else." At this point I know I'm babbling.
He looks at me and says, "..........

[GREGRIO]

...so you like the vegatable guy huh, stay right there. With that he
pulled out his cell phone and in a loud voice he commanded...
"RAYMOND...come here, I need you" In no less than a minute, a short
little kid, no...aaa man?...HELL, HE WAS A DWARF! came rushing up.

Dress in shorts, flipflops, and a HOOTERS T-Shirt, this little bearded,
fuzzy guy stood poised in front of CARROT TOP holding a large white
envelope with a gold seal on it.
"Here ya go buddy, Raymond anounced...enjoy the Show!"
I looked at Scott, he looked at me, I looked at the little bearded dwarf.

"Crap happens for the good sometime too ya know...have a good time and if you need me...........just 'dial' down the middle."

BLOWNAWAY...I was figgin' BLOWNAWAY!
Scott turned and disappeared into the casino. Raymond looked up at me
and said..."if ya want something warm and cuddlie to wake up to tomorrow morning....here's my room number", then shuffeled off into the slot machines and was gone.
I NEEDED A DRINK so I

[misterKeno]

(you two are on a roll!)

sat my butt down at the BC Pai Gow tables... knew that they'd keep the Heineken long necks flowing. Now i must admit that i miss the gang from VegasCoupons.com and will need to begin taking notes for my eventual TR sooner or later. But, the task at hand was Pai Gow!!!

I bought in for 75 clams, and as Carolyn pushed me my fifteen red chips she must not have been paying attention... because mixed in was a purple (that's right!! $500) chip. I said nothing and quickly put it in my shirt pocket.

The cards were mighty fine & i won 4 hands in a row. My third beer came & i went to tip the waitress, but only had $5 chips in front of me. The dealer was busy coloring-up another player, so i reached into my pocket and i gave her two $1 chips i had leftover from the Sahara (or somewhere) i dont remember... by this time i had a good buzz going. She smiled like never before.

I played for another 1/2 hour then decided i