Ok, my first trip report, thought i would give it a try.

July 3- Left Raleigh, NC on Delta at 4:30 to Kennedy in New York, I know sounds stupid but was using skymiles and to come and go when i needed that was the best i could do. Easy flight to NY, had one hour layover and then off to Vegas. Get on the plane to Vegas , it was a Song jet, much to my delight I find there are TVs in the back of each seat with satellite beaming all channels right into it, GREAT!! Anyway flight was long and uneventful, tried to sleep a little but could not very much. Arrived in LV at 11:45, got luggage and was off to get a cab, no wait , no problems. Got a cab, used advice from people on here, told cabbie, “Rio please, No Tunnel”. My wife looked at me like I was an idiot but we got right to the Rio withen minutes and i think the fare was around $12, no bad. The juices are now flowing ready to check in and do some gambling. Well, get to check in and the attendant tells me that my room has no been cleaned yet, so it is not ready. DO WHAT? WTF? It is 12:15 at night, the room has not been cleaned, I had trouble understanding that. But, i said Ok, did not cause a stir or anything, the guy writes me a $50 food credit coupon and tells me to come back in one hour and it should be ready. So we check in our luggage and off to gamble. Strike two, i have not been to Vegas in over a year and a half and much to my surprise, the table limits tonight were high. I wanted to play craps and the cheapest table was $15, so now im getting pissed. So me and my wife decide to check out the place and walk around for a while, in an hour we go back to desk to check on our room, the guy who helped me earlier is gone and now i get a real smart ass, no my room is not ready (it is now 1:30am) and he has no clue when it will be ready. I was only staying there that one night and then it was off to the Flamingo for 3 comped nights. So I am now offically pissed, the guy at the desk does not care. My point was that I had already been billed for the one night on my credit card and it gaurenteed late arrival, he did not care. I told him at this point, could i get late check out, nope, I told him I was about just renting the room by the hour at this point, he did not care.

So walked around, decided to play some slots, lost $50 before we could blink. Now im really getting pissed. Finally made that $50 back after working the slots hard to do it, decide to go back to desk and see if my room was ready yet. I now get a nice young girl, who actually seems concerned and guess what, after a few minutes she comes back and tells me she has a room for me. So it is now 2:45 am and we are just getting a room, my body is still on eastern time though. Get to the room call for our bags, they dont arive until 3:30 am. Great, finally some sleep. Will never stay at the Rio again. Room was nice, but at this point i would have taken a bed outside on the sidewalk. Got up and ate at the breakfast buffett, which i will say was good. Checked out and off to the Flamingo.

Checked right in, used the $20 trick and the girl hooked us up on the 21st floor overlooking Ceasars, great view, nice room. I know the Flamingo is not top of the line but you cant beat the location and the price, plus the 3 nights we were staying were comped up front and we are not high rollers by any stretch. Have to run will be back with Part 2 later.

Part 2 - Will try to do better with paragraphs.

Tues. July 4 - Check in went fast and smooth as I said at the Flamingo. Time to do some gambling that i wanted to do last night. Off to the craps tables, no $5 craps, damn, oh well, play the $10 tables. I really thought the Flamingo would have some $5 craps tables but saw none on this trip. Do like playing at the Flamingo, the dealers are so nice. Anyway did not take very long, maybe an hour to lose a quick $200 on the crap tables, so not a good start. Wife struggled on the slots also, which seemed to be a theme for any Harrahs property she played slots in, and it did not look like she was the only one not winning either, tight, tight, tight. Decided to check out the Barbary Coast, it is just out the door of the Flamingo. Great $5 crap tables, and I hold my own on them, breaking about even. After dinner back to Flamingo tables, same thing, win and then give it back, could not get a consistent roll. One side note, the officer shot the guy right out front, and the place did not even miss a beat, it really amazed me. Finished on the craps tables and wife wanted some fireworks, was told none on the strip so we head back to the room to see if we could find any, much to her delight, you could see from our 21st floor, fireworks shows going on all over the valley, so she was happy. Back down to finish the night on the craps tables at the Barbary, lost this time, so time for some sleep.

Wed. July 5 - Great sleep, just what we needed, ready to roll today. Still no $5 craps at Flamingo, so jumped back on the $10 table and quickly got my ass kicked. So off to the Sportsbook, to bet some baseball and something i know nothing about, World Cup soccer, everyone was pumped about it so i had to have some action on it to have fun. Lost the soccer game in overtime, but won 3 out of 4 baseball games, so was happy with that. Played at the Barbary after dinner, started drinking beer all night. Won some money at the craps tables and had a great time. Pit boss comps us a dinner to use so we put that away for another day. Barbary is really nice about things it seems. Wife tells me she is going to bed for the night, it was around 2am, so i walk her back up to our room at the Flamingo. Im drunk as hell and not ready to call it a night, so im off for more gambling, that is why im here. Head back to Barbary, tables turn cold, so out of there, check out the Flamingo, nothing happening so it is out the door and over to Osheas. Wow, this place was cooking with excitement. Pull up to the craps table and they give me the dice, i hold them for about 20 minutes, people are raising hell, i was a hero, we all made money. Next up was some girlfiend of the guys playing next to me, she was not playing but they let her shoot. She did not have a clue, but everyone kept making her blow the dice, she did, and held them for about 35 to 40 minutes. The place was going wild, everyone was drunk, yelling, this girl had no clue but she made us all a bunch of money. They quickly changed the table to a $10 limit, so everyone cashed out, screw them, take the money and run. It was fun though. Back to bed, it is now 6am and im drunk as hell.

Thur. July 6- Wake up and I feel like I have had the hell beat out of me. Forgot i was not 20 something last night and drank way to much beer. Went to breakfast-lunch buffett at Flamingo with wife. I took about 3 or 4 bites and thought i was going to get sick, and it was not from the food, I was in rough shape. Wife laughs at me, we both know it was my own fault, but man was it fun. We plan the day, she wants to see David Copperfield at MGM and it is his last day there today. So we buy Monorail tickets, no way was i going out in the sun and heat with this hangover. Nice smooth, cool, quick ride to the MGM for tickets. Get to the booth, sold out late show and only a few tickets left for early show but on last row, wife says we will wait until we come again and get better seats. That sucked because she really wanted to see him, but $100 for last row, we will wait. Played some slots, wife quickly hit $100 on a .25 machine, and soon cashed out about $125, nice. Walked over to the sportsbook, World Cup semis on and the place was packed with people, great atmosphere. Rode the monorail back to Paris and Ballys to check it out. Love Paris casino, will play there later. Went to Ballys and wife wants to go to Price is Right, so we do, really was not that bad. Went back to room to rest and get ready for dinner. Off to dinner at the Range Steakhouse at Harrahs, going to use the $50 food credit the Rio gave us. Great place, very nice atmosphere and the steaks were great. Back to Barbary to play $5 craps, no beer tonight though, tried one and it did not go smooth so stopped that quickly. Played all night, great table, we had a group at our end and the table went cold many times, they turned me on to playing on the dark side, we all made good money doing it, people on the other end were pissed though, it almost became like two teams, our end vs. there end, we had fun and won, the lost and were pissed, oh well. Off to bed for more rest.

Fri. July 6 - Last day, darn. Check out around 11, check in our bags because plane doesnt leave untile 10:30 that night. Head over to Paris, i really like that place, play a little BJ, wife heads to the slots. She has had no luck in any Harrahs property on the slots so I tell her to play the $1 slots, She finds the sizzlen 7’s machines, and hits $300 within a couple of minutes, she is excited and so am I. Play there much of the afternoon, head back over to Barbary for a while, play there, win some, lose some, and then head over to OSheas again. Get in there around 5:00, this place is hopping again. A little guy dressed in green standing on the bar, blowing a whistle and shooting green stuff down peoples throats, everyone having a wild time. Played craps there for about 2 hours, won around $100. Called delta and find out flight is delayed a little over an hour, great more time to gamble. Glad i called. Headed back to Barbary for comped dinner, had some Chinese food, and it was excellent. This was in the Victorian room. Good meal, even better because it was free. Back to Paris, wife wants another shot at the $1 slots. I play som $10 BJ and get hot and win end up cashing out around $80. Head to one last shot on the craps tables, even though it is a $10 table which i have had no luck with on the whole trip. Hold my own, make about $15 with one last good roll before it was time to go. Head to Flamingo, get bags, taxi, and off to airport. Security lines full, but they do a good job of getting people through quickly. Take off and have a great view of Las Vegas strip and we circle it, I give a good bye wave and settle in for sleep on the long flight home.

Thoughts - will never stay in Rio again, they really pissed me off. Flamingo is fine for the price, staff is always nice, and the location is excellent. Love the gambling at Barbary Coast, and OSheas is a fun rowdy place at times if that is what your looking for. Will spend more time at Paris next time. Cant believe how hard it is to find $5 tables these days, and it seems the Harrahs propertys slots are really tight, seemed no on was winning. All in all a great trip, wish it was longer, me and my wife really enjoyed the time together at the greatest place on this earth. Thanks to everyone on here for the tips i have gotten on things in vegas, they really helped. Hope this was not to long, my first report.

………..i’ll get to the pie at the end.
It was a good trip, just not very exciting. Hungry cab drivers, construction at the IP and LV Hilton were bothersome… This one was short ‘n sweet but more ‘ho hum’ than Christmas ‘ho ho ho’.

My Sunday SOUTHWEST flight left right on time out of Oakland California…7:10AM, and I was at the GOLD COAST registration dest at 9…couldn’t get into the RIO until Monday (RODEO)
I requested a 9th floor room, checked my bag w/ ‘Bell’ and walked around the casino. They always decorate the registration area for Christmas and Rodeo…more Rodeo than Christmas. A large ‘corral’ set up next to the ‘tree’ with Rodeo info, hats, vests, baseball caps, jackets, gloves, belts, boots… …all displaying the gold and red ‘GOLD COAST’ logo. Seemed like every well dressed Cowboy had to buy a black souvenir vest…they were everywhere…along with cases and caSES and CASES of every kind of BEER on the market. Stacked in every vacant space around the bars, piled 5 feet high on hand trucks…Bud, Bud Lite, Miller Genuine Draft, COORS… longneck bottles and cans loaded one on top of another like haybales all through the GOLD COAST’s ‘Pit’ area……….navigating through was like being in a Pole Bending or Barel racing competition just to get to the elevators.

Didn’t play much at the GOLD COAST…the casino just doesn’t do anything for me…I’m more at home across the street at the PALMS and headed over there for breakfast. Steak ‘n Eggs at the newly re-modeled SUNRISE CAFE always works good. Played some ‘Cleopatra’ and ‘WOF’, then settled in for $Bonus Poker and quarter Double Bonus. With my good ‘Change’ buddy Connie looking on, I had lots of good play and laughs, but no Royals. I’ve known Connie from the first
day the PALMS opened and she’s always on top of the better Pay Schedual machines. New info to me…(and I’ve never noticed him), but Connie tells me Bob Dancer has been an almost daily visitor lately…Dollar TriplePlay Duces.

Pulled my bag across Valley View Monday morning and in the West enterence of the RIO. Another good friend, Patty, at the Platinum registration counter was waitin’ for me. We talk as my trips get close and she keeps her eye on my favorite room. Saturday it was unoccupied when we last spoke, but late that night (dispite the request in the computer) an unsympathetic or…not too bright (…I like that) supervisor on the nightside gave it away. It set worse with Patty than me and she said she’d find me a good compromise…AND DID! She gave me one of the newly decorated Cariocas suites…very sweet, but I still prefer my normal corner room on the 13th floor.

Not much to report on food…I pretty much eat on the run. Show times conflict with dinner times but I did squeeze in my Steak, Lobster and Shrimp up-top in RIO’s VOODOO CAFE. I also tried (for the first time) the VENETIAN’s GRAND LUX CAFE after BLUE MAN GROUP’s new Show. I always seem to be in the mood for pasta after a Show, and their ‘Rustic Lasangna’ is WONDERFUL

I grew up with Rock ‘n Roll and love all types of music. December…because of the Grand Nationals is a great, once a year, opportunity to catch Country Music in Las Vegas. I saw LYNRD SKYNYRD, PHIL VASSAR, and LeANN RIMES this trip…all at LVHilton, all great Shows! Too bad I can’t say the same thing for the casino. The re-modeling is going on EVERYWHERE! The main ‘Pit’ is intact, but the slots and VP machines, from the front door to the Sports Book are upside down! All new natural Maplewood finish machines to match the new carpet are still piled up in groups waiting to be set up. I was there Sun. and Wed. and they
hadn’t made any progress in getting the gaming up and running. I found an old row of 8/5 Bonus Poker machines in the Sports Book to play which were good fun until Showtime. The escalators at the IMPERIAL PALACE are being replaced too so if you need to get to the 2nd or 3d floors for Shows or Buffets, you need to use the elevators…BIG DRAG! I’ll put some thoughts on the NEW BLUE MAN GROUP, AVE. Q’s Showtime change and FAB FOUR in shows/Entertainment.

now…………………………………about MOOSE TURD PIE.

During Rodeo, Cowboy Hats, Giant Belt Buckels, and Cowboy Boots are everywhere and so are the stories you over hear… The GOLD COAST gave me 2 of their FUN BOOKS at check-in. The only thing I like in ‘em is the 2 FREE scoops of ice cream from their ICE CREAM PARLOR….. COWBOYS seemed to LOVE ICE CREAM TOO and the Parlor was like a meeting place for swoppin’ stories of the day and was always full. I found a vacant chair at a table with a couple of Cowboys…real friendly guys, talkin’ stories, where ya from, what ya do, etc. Bill Morgan…the senior Cowboy of the two was talkin’ about what he did before he started workin’ Rodeo. How I remembered this I’ll never know, but he was such a wonderful charactor and his smokey old voice just stuck in my memorybanks I guess. His story went something like this…

MOSE TURD PIE:
“Before I worked the Rodeo, I went down and got a job with the Rural Electrofication Co. on the Navaho Indian reservation……..runnin’ electric power lines into the Navaho ‘outhouses’. I was one of the first people to wire ahead for a reservation! I’ll tell ya about the worst job I ever had in my life. Worst job I ever had in my life was workin’ for the Santa Fe Railroad south of LAS VEGAS…out in the desert. Now the job was ‘Gandy Dancin’. ‘Gandy Dancin’ used to be (in the old days)………..’Gandy Dancin’ was when the Irish were buildin’ the railroad. The first transcontinental railroad was built by Irish laborers, and they used these long handled shovels called ‘Irish Banjos’ that were made by the Gandy Shovel Co. of Chicago. Now the Irish laborer would take the wide end of the shovel (when he could find it)…….and he would jam it in under the rail or a tie……..crawl out on the end and do a little ‘jig-step’, and this would level the rail or tie up so they could shovel gravel in underneath it, tamp it down, and this would level the
roadbed see……..that’s what ‘Gandy Dancin’ is, levelin’ the roadbed so the damn train don’t fall off when it goes by which is just a big drag for everybody.

Now they don’t do ‘Gandy Dancin’ the normal way any more. Now days, they run 3 cars out on the line. They run a boxcar out there that’s a ‘Bunk Car’…you sleep in it. They got beds and they’re 18″ apart. Then you got a ‘Tool Car’ with your camping irons, your tongs, and your
double jack hammers, spikes and all that sort of equipment ya see…AND then you got the ‘Cook Car’. See, theres no restaurnants anywhere around, so you gotta do your own cookin’.
It’s got pots, pans, coal or wood burning stove…long table down the middle that you eat at…Only thing they don’t hire is a cook………..that’s cuz they’re cheap…saves ‘em money. Rule is…they’re supose to pick from their own crew who’s going to cook. …………..and they don’t decide to do it sensibly like draw lots or see who the best cook is…What they do is wait and see who whines and cries, pisses and moans the most about the cookin’, and they say…….. “all right wise guy, you think you can do better, you get to be the cook”. ……………………….well that was me see. ‘Ol alligator mouth. New man on the crew. And that was the worst food I ever had! I mean it was dogbottom pie, pheasant sweat, foder water……comes out of an utter (terrible stuff)
So I complained! and they said…”OK wise guy, you get to be the cook”. THAT MADE ME MAD, cuz I didn’t want to cook, but I know if ANYBODY COMPLAINED ABOUT MY COOKIN’…that they were gonna have to cook.

ARMED WITH THAT KNOWLAGE…I sallyed forth…over the muddy river. I was walkin’ around among the cheat grass there…I looked down, and there was just a hell of a BIG MOOSE TURD. Biggest damn Moose turd I…….. …it was a real steamer! I looked down at the ‘meadow waffer’ and I said to myself….I said, SELF, I’m gonna bake up a big Moose Turd Pie. Cuz if anybody complains about my cookin’, they’re gonna have to cook.

So I tipped that ‘Pasture Pastry’ up on edge (I got my shit together so to speak)……..and I started rollin’ it down toward the old Cook Car. …baroomp-baroomp, rolled it down there and leaned it up against the side. I climbed up into the Cook Car and I baked up one hell of a big pie shell and I baked that Moose turd in just as slick as you please. I crimped the edges with my thumbs and laid strips of dough across it, garnished it with a sprig of Parsley, alittle Paprika……it was BEAUTIFUL… POETRY ON A PLATE…and I served it for desert, just waitin’ for the first hint of a complaint.

Well this giant dude came in…..5 foot 40…..I mean he was BIG! Throwed himself down like a fool on a stool…picked up his fork…took a big bite… Well he through down his fork. And he let out a bellow, and he yelled…..

MY GOD!!!

THAT’S MOOSE TURD PIE!!!………………………………….it’s good though.